The Five Questions that Might Change Everything... When Considering Divorce

If you’ve ever found yourself quietly wondering, “Should I stay or should I go? ... this episode is for you.

Today, we’re walking through 5 honest questions to ask yourself when considering divorce—designed to bring clarity, not pressure. From what you’re modeling for your kids to whether you’re staying from love or fear, these questions will help you reconnect with your truth.

You don’t have to have all the answers today… but you do deserve to ask the right questions 🤍

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to the bestie space. I'm also the call. Breakthrough guide coach and a moment tell us what it's like to feel stuck behind a friend. This podcast is your soft place to land and your strong place to rise. We're talking real life healing, emotional empowerment, and how to move forward when life feels like it cracked you open. So grab a coffee, take a deep breath, and listen in to some real talk, bestie. I'm here for you. Hey besties, welcome back to the Besties Space. The space where we have honest conversations, even when they're hard. For today, this one might feel um a little hard, emotional, heavy for some people. For me, I had a thought um over the weekend, and a lot of people have asked me just kind of what was that one turning point that really made me decide that I needed to move forward with a divorce. And I don't think there was one particular turning point, but there was definitely questions that I started to ask myself, and I thought I I wish I would have had kind of the all of those questions together in one spot to maybe help me to get to that decision. I don't want to say faster or sooner, but just to feel confident about it. So that's what we're gonna do today. So we're gonna talk about what I think are the top five questions that you should ask yourself when you're considering divorce. So this is not coming from a place of pressure and it should not be coming from a place of fear, but truly a place where I hope you can find some clarity, maybe some truth, and and really start trusting yourself because deep down your gut knows what you want and what you need. So I want to I want to tell you that this is not me telling you what to do. Um, this is not pushing you toward or away from anything. I just really want to help you get honest with yourself because if you're even asking this question, something inside of you is already speaking to it. So I will tell you that this first question is the one that was kind of my breaking point personally. So if you have kids, I want you to ask yourself, would you want them in a relationship like yours? So take a breath because it's not about guilt, it's about perspective. If your child came to you one day and said, This is how my partner treats me, or this is how I feel in my relationship, would you feel at peace with that? Or would something in you want to tell them, no, I want more for you than what you are receiving or just what you are experiencing? Because your kids don't just hear what you say, they learn from how in what you live. And this is not about being perfect. Everybody has their moments, but it's about asking yourself: am I modeling the kind of love I would want for them? That is that is what got to me. I knew that I would want my daughter to see a different form of love, and I would want my son to be a different version of how I was being treated. And so that first question was kind of my turning point, but it was definitely one that helped me to kind of get over that decision um divide. So the second question I want you to ask yourself is are you staying out of love or are you staying out of fear? And this one requires some honesty because staying can come from beautiful places like commitment and growth and a deep love, but it can also come from a fear of starting over, from financial worries, just a fear of being alone, and a fear of what people think. So I want you to very kindly, gently ask yourself if fear wasn't part of this decision, what would you choose? Question three is one that I think uh obviously relates to if you're considering a divorce, but it kind of relates to friendships and work relationships as well. So I want you to ask yourself, have I truly been heard? And has anything actually changed? So relationships go through hard seasons, but there is a difference between struggling and working through it versus repeating the same pain over and over and over. So I want you to ask yourself, have I communicated clearly? Have my needs what you need, have they been acknowledged? And has there been consistent effort toward change? Because promises, Bessie, they feel so good, especially when that's what you just needed to hear. But patterns, patterns and behaviors are what tell the truth. So question four, this is a deep one. Who am I becoming in this relationship? Because sometimes it's not just about what's happening, it's about what it's doing to you. So ask yourself, do I feel like myself? And it's okay for you to not know who that person is. If you are so deep into a relationship and you have lost who you are, bestie, go back a few episodes and and listen, listen to some more Bessie talk. But I want you to ask yourself: do I feel like myself? Am I shrinking? Am I anxious more than I am at peace? Am I constantly overthinking, walking on eggshells, or questioning my worth? Because the right relationship should feel like safety and support and growth, not survival, bestie. So the last question I want you to ask yourself is question number five. If nothing changed, okay, nothing changed, could you accept this long term? So this is where I think the clarity really comes in. Because if not, and you're asking yourselves, will things get better? What if they change? But what if everything stayed exactly as it is today? Could you live like this for the next five to ten years? And I want you to answer something that you probably haven't answered before. I want you to answer this without hope. I want you to answer it without potential, and I want you to answer it without promises. Okay, we just talked about that. Promises are great to hear, but patterns are what is the truth. So if you took out the hope and the potential or the promises, if nothing changed, could you accept this long term? That's just reality. And that answer that tells you so much. Bestie, these questions are not here to rush you, they are meant to help ground you. That is what I needed. Because big decisions, they don't come from panic, they come from clarity. And whatever your answer is, I want you to trust that you are allowed to want peace, you are allowed to choose yourself, and you are allowed to build a life that feels safe and aligned. If you're in this space right now and you're asking these questions quietly in your own head, you do not have to navigate it alone. You can join me on social, I am on Instagram. I also offer bestie power hour sessions where we get to work together. You can process, you can get clear, you can feel supported without being judged, and you can always find the links in my show notes. So until next time, Bestie, give yourself permission to be honest because your truth, your truth, is when your next chapter begins. If this episode spoke to you, make sure that you send it to a friend or share it on social and take me. Coffee underscore N underscore gratitude. Please also consider leaving me a five-star review. It helps us grow the bestie space community, and I will be forever grateful. And remember, you got this. If you need help, please reach out to a licensed provider or a crisis resource in your area.